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What Defines You?

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While going to the Physiotherapist (some same Physioterrorist) isn’t fun, the outcomes have been good. But a recent encounter with another client got me thinking.

The Physio has me doing hydrotherapy for my healing ankle. Usually there are two to five of us in the pool at once. As I was doing my weird stretches I said to one of the guys I had met before, “How are you doing?”

Now I was making polite conversation. I should have thought about the question I asked because he then took quite some time to tell me how he was doing. Yes, he is in an unpleasant situation and he has multiple injuries. Yes it has had an impact on his life and that of his family. But there has to be a good side somewhere doesn’t there?

Thinking about that interaction, I made the choice to not be defined by my injury.

The impact of my broken ankle is ever present in my life but I talk about it too much, give it credit too much, allow it to impact too much. The time has come for me to move on.

Sure, there will be a lasting impact but that is for me to manage. I don’t need to keep going on about it. I know there is a significant shift in mentality when I focus on what I CAN do rather than on what I CAN’T do.

Do you know people who are defined by what they think is holding them back?
By whatever event has occurred to them in their past that they can’t move past?
Are you one of those people?

Maybe it is time to focus on all the amazing things you can do, the experiences you can have, the relationships you can be part of.

Don’t be defined by events, thoughts and actions that are best left relegated to the past.

What defines you?

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Banish the Beige

Image: Dulux.com.au

I am terrified of Beige. Not the colour, as the colour above is the colour of most of my internal walls at home. I fear the Beige Life.

Beige seems to be gaining a grip on us. Here are a few reasons why:

  • The increasing number of people who seem to get offended on behalf of others
  • Political correctness 
  • Politicians trying not to upset potential voters
  • People not willing to take responsibility
  • Lack of courage in being willing to express beliefs
  • The decrease in skill on how to debate an argument
  • People attacking people and not the subject of the discussion
  • Close minded people who can’t see that just because they don’t agree, it can still a valid view point
  • FOWOT (A term I learned recently from Amanda Gore – Fear Of What Others Think)
  • Living a life of what other people think rather than what you want

I was reminded this week of the value of a colourful life, of staying true to your beliefs and values, of being open to new and different ideas, to calling out bullshit when you see it.

How are you adding colour to your life? How are you Banishing the Beige?

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Back to the Future

My gorgeous wife and I were out celebrating life and we had a flash back. A flash back to the future, if you will!

Soda Rock Diner was celebrating a move to a new location and had set up Doc and the Delorean out the front.

This was a great idea (although Doc was not quite a close match) for a couple of reasons.

  • It’s a great call back
  • It’s brand relevant
  • It was interactive

As a speaker/MC, one of the great tools of a presentation is the Call Back. It is where you mentioned something (a topic, a story, an item, an event) and then later in the presentation when the audience has almost forgotten it, you refer back to it. Comedians use this tool a great deal to excellent effect.

In this instance, people my age (almost 50!) grew up with Doc, the Delorean, Marty McFly and even Einstein (the dog who was sitting on the back of the car). Seeing the car was a great call back to an earlier part of my life which associates with a fun and positive memory.

It was Brand Relevant for Soda Rock as they are an American Diner complete with rollerskating waiting staff and Elvis. In Back to the Future II (and possibly some on Back to the Future) was set in a diner like this one. It was also October 21st which is one of the dates that Doc and Marty head to. So it was well themed and matched the brand of Soda Rock.

It also attracted a big crowd. People were lining up to sit in the driving seat and get their picture taken (look closely in the pic above and you will see a young girl in the front seat (on the left). I suspect there would be a lot of images on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and other social media of the Delorean, and possibly even tagged Soda Rock.

With the marketing of your business or the marketing that appeals to you, how does it take you Back to the Future?

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What Are You Creating?

I spent a couple of days at The Shed last week doing a few things.

It is a beautiful place that helps me reset my brain when I am feeling frustrated.

Let’s face it, there is a lot to be frustrated about.

Politics, sexism, war, treatment of indigenous peoples, treatment of refugees, people who don’t return phone calls, internet trolls, people who get offended by everything, people who never get offended, traffic, public transport, bad service, business deals that fall through, prospects who are incredibly rude … the list goes on.

Victor Frankl famously wrote in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, that there is a gap between stimulus and response.

So no matter what happens to you, you get to choose how you will respond to the stimulus rather than simply reacting to it.

What this means is rather than looking at how the world is and what we have to deal with to exist in it, we can ask, “What sort of world do we WANT to live in” and make choices to create that world.

Sometimes others may not support our choices but we have no control over that. All we can do is have control over our own decisions. To be frank, sometimes those choices are hard and the cost may be high, but they are almost always worth it.

The choices we make create our future. What kind of future do you want? What choices do you need to make to have that future come in to being? What can you start on today to make that happen?

In essence, what are you creating?

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Put It Down

Technology is amazing.

We now have devices that give you access to the knowledge of the world with a click of a few keys (granted, we only use it to watch cat videos but we COULD do other things with it!) These smart phones have more power and capacity than the computers that sent people to the moon.

It is starting to feel like the cost of this technology is our own humanity. What price are we willing to pay for all of it’s advantages?

Don’t get me wrong, I am part geek and I like my phone to be within arms reach at all times. I love technology and what it can do for us. But we have to keep our mind open and not just following it blindly.

Technology is like fire, a brilliant tool but a poor master.

Here are a few things you can do to make sure you are not at technologies beck and call:

  • My phone and computer have ALL notifications turned off. I choose to run my day rather than let my devices run it.
  • My gorgeous wife and I will often leave our devices at home when we go out so we can be present for each other.
  • I will turn my phone on to Aeroplane mode when going into a meeting so I won’t be disturbed.
  • When friends are over for dinner and the phone rings, I don’t answer it (I know!! Radical isn’t it!)
  • I use my calendar to plan times to NOT do things like – no email, no meetings, no phone calls.
  • When working on an important strategy or creative piece, I will turn my phone of to prevent distractions.

These ideas are not rocket science but they are necessary sometimes so I can be sure that I am using technology and it is not using me.

What do you do to make sure you are making the most of technology but it is not making the most of you? How do you “put it down?”

 

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Does It Help?

Image: ShutterStock

As you may know, I broke my ankle earlier this year. My recovery is going well. I have all the steel plates and screws out and my treatment regime is not regular physiotherapy to get my range of movement back.

As part of my post surgery review, I had a check up with my surgeon. My physio asked me to have the surgeon send the notes from the original operation as he didn’t have those and wanted to see what physical limitations the surgery may have caused.

So far, so good. All very simple and normal questions that you may think about a persons recovery. This is where it got interesting.

So I went and had a chat to the ankle specialist who has taken over my “care” from the surgeon as their processes dictated. The care is in quotation marks because this doctor has very few people skills, struggles to answer direct questions and starts ruminating about problems you may have in 30 years time. He’s a bit weird (but apparently brilliant!).

At the end of my consultation as I asked if he could send my notes on the first operation to the GP practice my physio works out of. He gave me the look that said “that’s beneath me” and actually said, “just ask the girls at the front desk and they can sort it.”

Ok then.

At the front desk I asked the same question of the receptionist who said, “Why didn’t the doctor just ask for it?” To which I replied, “he said to ask you.”

She then said that for her to release it she would need an application under the freedom of information act. It would be easier if I got my GP to request the information to be sent.

Oh dear.

I rang my GP clinic after I left and explained the situation. The receptionist said, “Oh dear. It sounds like you have been getting the run around.” I gave her the identifying information and she said she would fax a request straight away.

Yay.

Then I asked if she could send a copy to the Physio who works out of their rooms. She replied, “Oh no. He will have to request it. We can’t just give it to him.”

Now I KNOW that this is minor to what others have to put up with in both the medical and non-medical professions. And I KNOW that there are many people who follow policies that they KNOW stuff around their clients but they have no choice as it is mandated that they do it.

Policies and procedures are an important part of business systems and great customer service. Celebrated author Michael Gerber in his book The E-Myth Revisited, stated that “Systems run the business and the people run the systems.”

So what policies do you have in your work place? Do they help or hinder the customer? How do they make life easier for everyone?

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The Other Side

I had the good fortune to hear Travis Bell, The Bucket List Guy recently.

He has some excellent processes and ideas on how to formalise creating and achieving bucket list items.

It is way more effective than that thought that “one day” you will achieve some dream.

The one key point of Trav’s that I really love is about the impact of achieving what is on your bucket list. Because it is not about the item. It is not about getting a photo of having achieved it. It is not about boosting your ego by achieving it. It is not even about bragging rights for having achieved it (let’s face it, most of our friends will say “that’s nice” and move the conversation on.)

What Trav says is that achieving your bucket list item is all about who you become on the other side of having achieved it.

Having proven to yourself that you CAN reach this goal, and having the inner satisfaction of knowing all the battles you have faced to get there. The internal reward of who you become on the other side of your achievement is what makes it all worth while.

So what do you need to put on your bucket list?

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The Art of Polite Debate

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It’s official, we have lost the art of polite debate.

The evidence is littered across the pages of Facebook, scattered in the comments on YouTube videos and evident in any of our recent vision of political discussions.

There are two impediments to our ability to debate politely: 1) Our Target and 2) Our Beliefs.

Our Target

Our target has shifted. In the past it was simply the person with whom we were talking. Now it is anyone watching. So our arguments have to be inflated, exaggerated, entertaining, influencing and somewhat over the top. Not for the person we are debating but for anyone else who may be watching.

Our target has also moved from the subject matter to the individual. A healthy, logical argument would attack the subject and poke flaws at the process or logic that was used and during the discussion, offer an alternate, more robust and more logical method to come to a conclusion. Now it seems the first step (or if you are lucky, the second step) is to attack the individual.

When I say “attack” I really mean it. The abuse and vitriol that is used is astonishing and all it does is make the person being attacked more defensive and closed minded in their beliefs.

Our Beliefs

The Josh Wheedon film, Serenity, has a fantastic scene where the older cleric discusses how the government operative has a blinding belief that drives him and nothing can stop him because of the strength of his belief.

We see this every day.

Logic no longer has a place in many discussions, let alone debates. Some people’s beliefs are so strong that they can not even consider the undesirable impact of their beliefs. Their belief is so strong that they struggle to see why anyone could have a different perspective from theirs. Their belief is so strong that their mind is closed. Closed even to different approaches that may make their lives better.

So what can we do?

There are a couple of key elements to a healthy, polite and respectful debate:

  • Attack the subject and not the person – even if you think the other person is wrong, even if you don’t think they deserve it, treat them with courtesy.
  • Base your argument on proven facts – opinions are great but some are wildly inaccurate and damaging. Facts will always serve you well.
  • Be passionate about your position. Facts alone won’t do it but be careful not to be blinded by passion.
  • Be willing to be wrong. If you are not willing to even consider the opposing view point, how can you hope for your opposition to be open to your perspective.
  • Listen to what is being communicated. If you are unable to listen, your debates has just become a shouting match.
  • Don’t let your beliefs stop you from seeing the truth. The facts and truth have a power to them that beliefs never will. Sometimes you need to get out of your own road.
  • Let it go. Sometimes there are debates you will never be able to take part in (let alone win). These are the ones you have to walk away from. Adding fuel to the flame will only build a bigger fire and risk you getting burnt. Choose your debates wisely.

No matter what you debate, you can always do it politely and with respect while being passionate about your position.

So how will you practice the art of polite debate?

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Extreme Self Care

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One thing I work on with all of my mentoring clients with is Extreme Self Care. That is, putting significant effort into making sure your needs are met and that you get what you need to protect yourself as you grow.

Most commonly this is the old story from the flight attendant telling you to put your own mask on before trying to help others. But it is more than that.

It is standing up for yourself and even fighting for yourself when you need to.

I have a situation like that at the moment.

Naturally I have considered the situation from a customer service perspective as well as from a brand impact perspective. I have even received external advice on the situation to take any personal opinion out of the situation. The outcome is that I will be enforcing a cancellation fee.

The reason?

I am worth it and so is my business. It is worth fighting for. It is worth delivering good service for. It is worth practicing extreme self care for. It is also worth respecting.

It is not the easier path but it is the more worthwhile and rewarding path.

Where do you need to practice Extreme Self Care?

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Grabbing Attention

I was at the Integrate Trade Show in Melbourne this week. A show all about Audio Visual for conferences, corporates and large areas.

So many exhibitors had spend huge money on their stands showing off their latest and greatest technology. Some of the big brands built two story exhibitions with screens and logos everywhere.

It was a huge waste of money.

These same brands looked like they spent very little money on creating an atmosphere for the visitor or training their staff on how to approach and interact with the visitors.

Create LED had a different approach.

They had a much smaller presence. A simple black cloth background. A different display using one unique product, their Air Magic Box and staff who smiled, engaged with people who walked past and created a pleasant experience.

Their return on investment would have been significantly greater than that of the big name, multi-storied booth exhibitors. Mainly because they focussed on what counts, the Visitor and not themselves.

Grabbing the attention of a visitor is not all about you. It is mainly about the visitor. What is something new and unusual for them that will get their attention and start a conversation about their interests and needs?

This works not only at trade shows, but also in one on one conversations at networking events, presenting at conferences or your traditional marketing pieces.

How do you get their attention?

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What Are You Looking For?

I happened to notice Winston the Wonder Poodle basking in the sun a couple of days ago. Now this spot is in the kitchen just under the cook top. It is not the most comfy place to rest but it was the only place in the house where the sun was coming in.

Winston is a sun lover. He will frequently track down the most obscure place where there is a glimpse of sun so he can rest in it and keep warm. He knows what he is after and he tracks it down.

What are you looking for?

It is four months and four days until Christmas day. The year is effectively two thirds done.

Have you gotten the results you are after?

Isn’t it funny that those who feel that they have achieved more actually knew what they wanted in the first place. They knew what they were looking for, made plans and took action to get there.

If you truly want to achieve some fantastic results by the end of the year, how will you do it and who will help you get there?

What are you looking for?

If you are looking for a mentor/coach, I have some good news, there are two spots available in my mentoring program. To help you get results by Christmas 2017, I am offering these spots, with a three month commitment at my association price of $650 per month. Contact me via my website for more information or to book in.

Regardless of the steps you take, you MUST take steps. Knowing what direction to take the steps in to get you closer to your goal makes all the difference.

So what are you looking for?

 

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YES – It’s a Sign of Love

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For a country with three of the top ten most liveable cities, it is a shame that our politics don’t match. Particularly when it comes to Marriage Equality.

Our politicians have decided not to do the job that we elected them to and get us to do an Australian Idol kind of vote that is non-binding (ie they don’t have to act on the results in any way) and could possibly be illegal (there is a case before the High Court as we speak). If politicians want to know what the public think, an opinion poll would be more statistically accurate and cost about $100 million less. (Polls show up to 72% of Australians support marriage equality)

Putting all that to one side, what we are talking about is legislating love. That has never worked and has never served the people when it has been tried. My gorgeous wife is of Sri Lankan descent. In a not too distant past, some governments would have stopped (or tried to stop) our “inter-racial” marriage.

Everyone has their own opinion and will vote how they choose. But I am not clear on what voting against marriage equality will gain.

Couples will still live together, will still love each other, will still raise families if they choose, still pay taxes, still go about their normal lives – regardless of the outcome.

But voting against it means that their spouse will not be recognised under law. So should their spouse die, they will be faced with reams of paperwork to access what current married spouses take for granted. This happened to Lara Ryan and I couldn’t imagine the turmoil. In a Facebook post she talks about how she had to:

  • Get police permission to write “Spouse” on incident reports
  • Cross out boxes for Husband and Father on the birth certificate of her newborn
  • Scream in an emergency room, “She’s my wife – I know it’s not legal but she’s my wife”

Because GLBTIQ marriage is not recognised in Australia, should you get married overseas, you cannot get divorced here (because we don’t believe you got married!) Recently the United Nations said that Australia is in breach of human rights because of this because one person had to apply to them to try and get some kind of closure on their marriage. Our government is still considering this breach.

A gay couple married in the UK came to Australia for their honeymoon. Tragically one of them died here. Under our law they were not considered married so the surviving partner could not sign next of kin documents or take the appropriate action at a time of great grief.

These are just a few of the issues that are faced by our lack of marriage equality. All because their committed relationships are not recognised by our laws.

Oh, and the impact on non-GLBTIQ people if GLBTIQ people get married? NONE. (Well except for missing out on some fantastic celebrations). According to the multiple other countries that allow everyone to get married, there has been no devastation, no corruption of the innocent, all that has happened is that anyone can now take the steps to get married.

Voting Yes on our non-binding plebiscite is a vote of love. It is a vote for other peoples love as well as your own. It is a vote for allowing basic rights to those that have been denied them. It is a vote of tolerance. It is a vote of consideration. It is a vote to allow people to show publicly what others already know. It is a vote for our country to move forward.

Some people will vote No for religious reasons but I don’t understand that. Most religions I know of are founded on love. Nearly every holy scripture, regardless of religion, will have a quote saying that love is the foundation of life (or something to that affect). While you may not agree with marriage equality, who are you to impose your will on another who will keep loving their partner regardless of what you think? Wouldn’t it be an act of love to contribute to their security, their happiness, their love?

Let’s be super honest, the sanctity of marriage has long past. We have TV shows where people get married without having met the person before. Celebrities get married for a matter of hours, not even days. It is not uncommon for people to have been married multiple times (I am up to my second but that’s where it ends for me!) It is a great institution and a display of commitment, but let’s not say it is something it is not.

In a world where we see hate in action on a daily basis, it is time for a strong act of love.

 

PS Shaun Micallef puts forward one of the best arguments on this subject. It’s worth watching.

 

 

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Most Important Sale

Image: ShutterStock

 

All the sales trainers I have ever had the good fortune to learn under have constantly said that the most important sale is the first sale, and the first sale is always to yourself!

If you don’t believe in the value of your product or service, how can you then sell it to others?

What they didn’t say is that you don’t just make this sale once. You will need to make this sale over and over again.

So many people make you doubt yourself, your product, your service, your price, your delivery method, your expertise and they do it, not to attack you, but to better position themselves in the negotiation.

On Friday I was referred to an organisation that was hosting a two day conference for 200 CXOs on the following Wednesday and Thursday. After an initial email briefing where they requested a “strong and experienced MC” I sent them a high level proposal.

Sunday they got back to me saying that it was a lot more than they had budgeted and in fact their budget was a third of my quoted price. They felt it was an easy gig. Very straight forward simply introducing people and asking a few questions.

This is where the doubt started to creep in.

Fortunately I know there is no such thing as an “Easy MC gig”.

Now most professionals (be they MCs, speakers, sports people, business people or whatever) make things look easy. Maybe they make it look effortless rather than easy. The reason for this, is they are good at what they do because they work at it.

As I advised this prospect, while it may seem easy, I have spent over 20 years honing my skill to make it look easy. So when the AV fails (as it will), when a speak finished in half the time and I step in with relevant and meaningful questions, when the audience is about to go to sleep and they need to be energised, when one of the strong minded CXO takes over the microphone during question time and starts waffling on with no question in sight or when a sponsor needs some attention, I will have you covered no matter what – that is what you are paying for!

My delighted clients, repeat clients and referring clients show me that my fee is fair and that I deliver great value for that fee.

So I had to decline that prospects offer to work for 1/3 my usual fee.

What about you? Have you made that most important sale?

Even if you are not directly in sales, it is important to know that you add real value to those around you. If you need it, collect some testimonials, quotes or evidence of that value so when you are starting to doubt yourself, you can look at the proof of the value you offer.

The first sale is always to you and you need to be sure you can keep making that sale time and time again. You are too important not to make it!

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It’s In the Doing

Image: Makita.com.au

We recently purchased one of these Random Orbital Sanders. Just the thing to sand some reclaimed timber that we want to use at the Shed.

I spent four hours over the weekend removing old nails and sanding old fence palings.

So now my hands feel a bit sore, my ankle is swollen, my back is a little sore, and I feel fabulous.

It is because I can look at the piles of palings all sanded, packed and ready to take to the shed and feel great about what I have achieved.

Many of us now spend our days working flat out and struggle to see what we have achieved at the end of the day. It can feel like a merry-go-round. Another day doing the same thing and feeling like you are getting nowhere.

So how can you visualise your “doing” so you can see what you have achieved?

Is it creating a graph of the sales calls you have made, the articles you have published, or the number of times people listen to your podcast? Is it a timeline showing progress on your next event, a project plan showing how close you are to the due date or a task list with the completed tasks all marked off?

Whatever you do, find a way to show progress on your doing.

The feeling of achievement and success comes from “doing” and often in our technological world, we miss that sense of achievement.

How do you measure your “doing”?

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Sensation of Simplicity

Under the strict supervision of Winston the Wonder Poodle, my gorgeous wife and I spent the weekend at our shed doing a few more bits around the place with our good friends Danielle and David.

On Sunday when they left to go and volunteer for Rotary, we did a few more things and then had lunch in front of the fire.

I am the first to admit that our shed is “rustic”. We are slowly but surely adding the creature comforts, A recent addition has been the fireplace which came in handy since it was 2C overnight!

But a simple ploughman’s lunch (that’s posh for “whatever is in the fridge/cupboard on a plate”) in front of the fire with your loved one was sensational. There is something hypnotic about watching the flames, feeling toasty warm while you are eating yummy food at a warm drink.

There is a lot of pleasure in getting back to the simple things and not being reliant on technology or complex and sophisticated set ups.

In business, that may be a simple phone call, a direct conversation, a basic agreement or an understanding chat over coffee rather than some sophisticated communication strategy or complex legal contract. While there is a place for these things, never underestimate the power of simplicity.

Simplicity gives the feeling of effortlessness and connection, and that is simply sensational.

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