It’s Not You. It’s How You Do It!

“How can I get them to do what I want?”
“Why won’t they listen?
“But I already told them!”

I have heard managers and team leaders (and parents) say this on many occasions. Also Presidents of Associations, chairs of committee and sales people just trying to get across the message. Often the message is a good one (even a great one) but you just can’t get the response, excitement or engagement you want.

Usually this means it is not the message, but how you choose to get it across.

Years ago when I worked at the now defunct EDS, on several different occasions I got my annual pay rise by being stopped in the hallway by my manager and having them hand me a post it note with the new amount and percentage increase written on it.

Yeeeeaaaah…. that’s not the best way to do it.

So often people send emails or texts rather than having a conversation with the person. Phil Collins famously broke up with his ex-wife by sending her a fax. People tell their boss they can’t come into work because they are sick using some kind of messaging app.

THE MODALITY COUNTS!

Face to Face, Video Call, Phone Call, Text Message, Email or via a third party. Whatever your modality, it makes a difference.

If you are not getting your message across, if you are not inspiring the troops, if you are not connecting with others, if the kids seem out of control, maybe you should consider your modality as well as your message?

It’s not you, it is how you do it that makes all the difference.