Archive For: Personal Development

Dance to My Tune

This is the background of the Salon at the Melbourne Recital Centre. I was fortunate enough to attend a performance by the Ensemble Gombert there this week.

Now I must confess, it is not the kind of performance I would usually attend but one of my fellow members of the Ice Haloes performs with them so I thought it would be a good opportunity to see what the sophisticated people do.

Oh my lawks a lordy! It was stunning. While the entire performance was in German, it didn’t matter. The harmonies and the emotion of the music jumped out and grabbed you. I had the translation of the piece but I just listened and enjoyed it without trying to work out what it meant at the time.

They performed two pieces. Hugo Distler’s Totentanz and Bach’s Jesu, meine Freude.

While the Bach was great, the Distler was a production of it’s own. It is a Motet, which Wikipedia defines as a mainly vocal musical composition, of highly diverse form and style, from the late medieval era to the present. 

They had kindly provided an English translation of the piece, which was about when Death comes to us all, how will we be seen. The first dialogue from Death was very powerful.

To the dance, line up for the dance:
emperor, bishop, burgher, farmer,
poor and rich, great and small,
come to me! Mourning will not help.
Lucky is the one who mindfully
did good things during his life,
thereby detaching himself from sin –
Today I say: Dance to my tune!

The motet showed how different people meet death. Life has shown us that no-one is spared death. Yet many live as if Death will never come.

I am so grateful to my friend Vic for introducing me to this piece. Listening to how Distler felt people would meet death reinforced that life is to be lived and to be lived well.

To try new experiences, treat all people well, to give what you can, to not be blinded by ambition or be arrogant with any authority we may hold. We will all Dance to Death’s Tune one day so let’s make today as good as possible for those around us. By doing so we will make life, and death, good for ourselves.

Yes, this piece is old. It is based on text written in the 17th and 19th centuries. But the message still holds true.

So dear reader, if I may be a bit dark and somber, before you need to Dance to Death’s Tune, how will you live so that you may die well?

PS You can listen to an unrelated but lovely piece by Ensemble Gombert here
PPS Vic is fourth from the left

 

Read more →

 

The Power of “Yes and”

For over 10 years I have been studying, training and performing with Impro Melbourne. They are an amazingly talented bunch of people.

What they don’t know is that I have been using the principles of Impro with my coaching clients and in my consulting.

You see the underlying tenet of Impro is the concept of “Yes and”. What that means is that you treat the idea that your fellow performers have as the perfect idea for the moment – that is the Yes. Then you build on and add to that idea – which is of course, the And.

Even if your personally think the idea is rubbish, you hate it, oh my goodness why did they say/do that, you just go with it. You treat it like the perfect idea. Time and time again, what happens is that it evolves on the fly and becomes a fabulous scene.

As a manager, obviously sometimes your team are wrong. But when you point that out to them, you are shutting them down. Once they are shut down, they are less likely to make a suggestion or give a thought next time. Using “Yes, and” allows you to build on what they are saying and divert it away to are more valuable response AND they still feel like they contributed.

For example, if you are coming up with ideas on how to cut costs and one of your team says, “We could close the store earlier to save on staff costs.” Rather than saying, “No we can’t do that” you may respond, “I like what you are saying on saving staff costs. How about we focus on re-stocking during the early shift so we don’t need as many staff for the late shift?”

The person has given an idea, you have validated them and then tweaked it to come up with a workable possibility.

“Yes and” takes lots of practice to become a comfortable part of how you operate but the effort is so worth it.

Dear Reader, how will you use “Yes And” today?

 

PS Impro Melbourne have a great range of shows and training happening. Check them out here or check out your local Impro troop to fast track your “Yes And” skills.

 

Read more →

 

Celebrating 50

It has finally happened. I turned 50 last week.

I am a firm believer in celebrating success and that if you make celebrating success a habit, you will make success a habit. So naturally I celebrated.

We had a huge party at a fabulous venue (The Riversdale Golf Club who were just fantastic) and I had family and friends from across the spectrum of my life come and help celebrate.

It has often been said that it takes a village to raise a child, so I had my village come and celebrate with me. Naturally the chief of that village, my gorgeous wife, was a key driver behind the celebration but that is as it should be.

You dear reader are also part of that village. Your regular feedback, requests for information and sharing of your life successes continue to help shape me and my business.

So as a small gift for you, please enjoy the performance of the choir I belong to, Mood Swing. They were there and did a few songs, this being the finale.

I am half way to my Happy Healthy Hundred and I wanted to thank you for your company and support on my journey.

 

 

Read more →

 

Time Is Money

It is commonly said that Time is Money. Well this month, I get to be $50!

I have strong memories of looking at statues of explorers like Burke and Wills and calculating that they died when they were 40 and 27 respectively. At the time I remember thinking, “wow, they weren’t that old.” Now I am definitely thinking they were very young!

Time changes things.

It is not just the passing of time that changes things, it is what you do with that time.

Even though I am turning 50 this month, I really don’t think I have started to mature yet. In talking with 70 year olds, they still feel 18 on the inside.

Time is money, and while it is good to save money, that is not what it is for. Money is to invest, to spend and to share. The same is to be said for time.

Time is to be invested in acquiring new skills. It is to be spent doing fun, foolish or even worthwhile things. It is to be shared with those who need it, who you love or simply who you want to.

My personal mantra is Happy Healthy Hundred, so this means that this month I am half way. I am ready to spend more time with people I love and doing things that I love.

If your time is money, how are you spending it? How are you investing it and how are you sharing it?

 

Image: Shutterstock

Read more →

 

Who’s a Good Boy?

I spent a bit of time over Easter installing some new redgum sleepers and creating a new garden bed in the front garden. (The plan is for a rosemary hedge so we have a little more privacy AND tasty goodness for when we cook lamb.)

Can I tell you how much physical work was involved? Plus, those sleepers are 3 metres long and very heavy to throw around, level out, concrete in and all the other fun stuff!

Here are a few more pics.

You know what I like the most about this kind of project? It is having my gorgeous wife admire the work done and show her appreciation. Basically, I am a big fluffy puppy wanting her to tell me what a good boy I am and what a good job I have done!

It is funny how one of the key things in the work place that gives great joy and reward to a person is Acknowledgement and Words of Praise, yet they are both incredibly rare. I have heard managers say, “I don’t need to tell them they do a good job, they get paid. That is enough. It is my responsibility to tell them when they have done a bad job, that’s when I give them feedback.”

Culturally when we give some one a compliment, they struggle to accept it.

Responses like “Don’t mention it”, “No worries”, “it’s all good”, “This old thing”, “I bought it at the op shop”, “it was nothing” are part of our every day vernacular.

Can I ask you to mention it?

Can I ask you to pay attention and praise those around you for doing what they would do anyway?

Can I ask you to acknowledge the effort of others?

Most people have a hidden sign saying, “Have I done a good job?”

It costs nothing but a small amount of time to give a compliment and acknowledge others and the payback is massive. Your team will feel closer, feel prouder and pay more attention to team goals.

So dear reader, in your life, who’s been a good boy or a good girl?

 

 

Read more →

 

5 Minutes vs 40 Years

I was fortunate enough to host the Opening Ceremony of the Global Speakers Summit in Auckland, New Zealand recently.

As a fun MC kickoff, I performed what I refer to as my Impro Slam Poetry. That is where I ask the audience a question (in this case, What do you want to get from the conference?) and then get about 10 words or statements from them.

Then, off the top of my head, I create a piece of poetry that I make fun, entertaining and relevant to the event. It’s got a lot of energy, I love to do it and the audience are always amazed at how it is done.

Afterward I am always asked, “do you have part of it pre-written?” And the answer is “NO.”

It is not a trick, it is a skill. Each time I do it, a poem is made up fresh using the words provided.

It’s not five minutes of trickery, it is 40 years of skill.

It’s the same with what you do. You can probably create or tweak a spreadsheet without thinking about it, or whip up a powerpoint slide deck without thinking about it. Maybe ride a unicycle or stitch up a dress or even speak a foreign language. These skills are something you build over time but look impressive when you only see the end result.

So what are your skills? What can you do that other people think is amazing but you know it is years of practice that builds the skill?

More importantly, what is it you WANT to be able to do? That is what you need to start working on today so that in 10 years it looks like magic!

Read more →

 

Do You Serve?

Image: ShutterStock

I was lucky enough to spend Sunday in beautiful Adelaide, one of Australia’s prettiest cities. The City of Churches as it’s known.

I must confess, it was a long day. Up at 5:30, off the airport, fly, get collected at the other end, drive to venue, setup the AV, run a five hour session, back to the airport, through security, straight to the plane, fly, airport, drive home, relaxing by 7:30pm. I did all this, gave away $500 worth of product, offered 15 hours of consulting/coaching services, and got paid $0, zero, zilch … nada.

Now I am not seeking praise or attention (ok… maybe a little attention) and I happily gave of myself and my products and services. This was done, not with the intent of commerce, but with the intent of service.

Currently I am the National President of Professional Speakers Australia. Over the years I have taken multiple roles within the organisation and will continue to do so into the future. The reason I serve is that it makes our association stronger, our industry more robust and it also creates great connections for me.

While I don’t approach a service position thinking “What can I get from this?” I have found that I will always get a return. For example, the workshop I ran on Sunday. Part of it was about creating a speaker “One Pager”. I had a vision for my one pager for some time but had procrastinated too much to actually do it. I couldn’t speak on the importance of having one with out actually having one, so running the workshop forced me to create my vision of a one pager, and I am very pleased with it.

Service pays in ways that you wouldn’t even dream of when you start to do it.

What about you?

In your industry, in your family, in your hobbies – do you serve?

Read more →

 

Australia Day

Image: ShutterStock

Australia Day is a challenging day for me.

Growing up, it was a huge day of celebration. My favourite aunt has a birthday on that day (Happy birthday Glenda!) and it was the celebration of the birth of our country.

As time went on and I learnt more about the world I live in. I discovered it was not the day our national was born. It turns out that the Australian Aborigine is one of the oldest peoples on the globe so our nation was born far earlier. In fact, Australia Day was not a term used officially until 1935. Over more recent years, it has also been referred to as Invasion Day as for many of our indigenous peoples, it represents the day they were invaded.

For me, I am proudly and happily an Australian. But I feel conflict that our celebration is done on a day that causes others great pain. I am also embarrassed about some Australian’s who minimise that pain, ignore it or even worse, invalidate it.

I have no solutions but I do have hope.

The conflict continues to get coverage in all forms of media. So what that brings is discussion, conversation, education, awareness – and these have to be good things. Yes there are extreme opinions on both sides, and typically there always are, but through the discussion comes increased understanding.

In the work that I do in events, this conversation also happens around the Welcome to Country or Acknowledgement of Country.

I didn’t truly understand what they were and was concerned it could political correctness gone too far. So I sought out an Aboriginal Elder and had a frank and open conversation with them. It was most enlightening. Now I am an advocate for the Welcome or Acknowledgement of Country to be in each program I host.

While it seems like a small thing, it continues the conversation and increases awareness. It usually takes less time than the announcement about mobile phones but deepens what it means to be an Australian. If you run events, I implore you to have a genuine Welcome to Country or Acknowledgement of Country in your program.

While the discussion about Australia Day and the best day to celebrate it continues, I will continue to be grateful each and every day that I was blessed to live in this country and make each day Australia Day.

Better have a Tim Tam to celebrate!

PS Here is a fun advert for lamb that gives a fairly good summary of the last 250 years or so

Read more →

 

Beware Perceptions

For those of you who don’t know, this is Winston and this is me badly in need of a shave. Pretty much how I looked this morning. What you can’t see in this photo is that I am 190cm (6’3″ in the old scale) tall and large framed (also referred to as a Nutritional Overachiever or A Big Unit)

As is my wont, upon arising, I took the trusty Winston the Wonder Poodle for a walk, during which I gave one couple the fright of their life.

As I was coming around a bend I saw an older couple (who must have been mid sixties ) see Winston and I and then had their eyes open wide with fear. The man quickly turned around and strode off. Noticing the lead over the ladies shoulder, I guessed they must have had a dog walking behind them off lead.

Suddenly the woman looked down, saw Winston and then noticeably relaxed. She then called to her partner, “it’s just a puppy.”

“Puppy”, I thought. Winston is turning five this year. He is fully grown.

As I got closer to them and said hello, they said, “We saw you coming but didn’t see your dog. We thought you must have had a big dog.”

When their Maltese Princess (their words, not mine) came into view, Winston excitedly said hello and we moved on.

So obviously their perception was that as a scruffy larger fellow, I should have a larger, fiercer dog that could be a danger to Maltese dogs.

A couple of blocks later I passed a mature woman, who had your stereotypical grandmother look, walking her very large Irish Wolfhound.

Perceptions can do you such a disservice, yet we all have them. Stereotypes that enter into everyday thoughts. Sometimes they can negatively impact on us and other times they better prepare us for a situation. One of the best things you can do is become aware of your perceptions and challenge them.

Maybe they are true, maybe they are not or maybe the are partially true.

What perceptions can you challenge and what perceptions do you think people will have about you?

Maybe I need to shave and wear something more formal when taking Winston for a walk!

 

Read more →

 

Beware the Intimate Enemy

On Saturday I shovelled 2 cubic metres of soil from the driveway into the new garden bed and I had to fight my Intimate Enemy every step of the way.

Sally Kempton said, “It’s hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.”

Saturday was a typical Melbourne summers day – drizzly rain that would start and stop, a bit warm and, due to the rain, a little sticky. Not the most pleasant conditions.

Let’s face it, shovelling and wheelbarrowing slightly wet soil is not an easy job either. At every stage my Intimate Enemy was telling me why I should stop, and there we a lot of reasons. Here are some of them:

  • It’s raining, you could get sick
  • You broke your leg and this is a large strain
  • Wait until the weather gets better
  • It would be easier if someone helped you
  • The dog will get mess everywhere
  • You’re tired and need a break
  • You did a lot of physical work yesterday
  • (insert feeble excuse here…)

In case you hadn’t worked it out, my Intimate Enemy is my own brain.

What was even more peculiar is that I could see it happening. So at that time I would just counter the Intimate Enemy with logic.

  • If I don’t do it, it won’t get done.
  • I need to move the dirt to access the garage
  • It will only take a couple of hours and I have nothing else planned to do
  • If I don’t do it now then I will only have to do it later.

Along with logic I used my other secret power. The power of Dory!

That’s right, I was simply repeating to myself “just keep swimming, just keep swimming” as I did each shovel and each barrow load of soil. I knew it was just time and effort that would get me there. With the power of logic and Dory I persisted and finally the job was done.

Do you have an Intimate Enemy with an outpost in your own head?

It is amazing how the biggest barriers to some of the goals we set is ourself.

When your Intimate Enemy attacks, why not try a little bit of logic and Just Keep Swimming!

 

Read more →

 

Fabulous Festivus!

Image: ShutterStock

It’s almost the end of the year. How ever you celebrate it, from our family to yours, Merry Christmas, Happy Festivus, Jolly Hannuka, Fabulous Kwanzaa, Joyous Bohdi or at the very simplest, have a Cool Yule.

It’s funny that during this relaxing time of holidays, I have a lot to do. Website refresh, garden retaining wall to build (with corresponding dirt and mulch shovelling into the garden bed), shed walls to line and a host of other things. I am realistic enough to know that they won’t all get done by mid January.

One thing that I know will get done is the Annual Review that I do. This time of year is great to look back at what I learnt and achieved in the year gone and what plans I have for the year ahead. I have done it so frequently that I have created a two page template for it.

As my festive gift to you, I want you to have a copy as well. Feel free to share it with others who may find it useful. You can access it here.

It has been a weird year for me. The broken ankle in March really blew my plans out of the water and while I have pretty much recovered, it continues to have an impact and has helped me reassess a lot of what I am doing.

It has been a weird year for the world. While Brexit, Trump and North Korea continue to make head lines, fewer people live in extreme poverty, the number of people without access to electricity world wide fell to below 1.1 billion for the first time, measles has been eliminated in the UK, and many other fantastically positive things are happening (you just don’t hear about them much).

So here is to 2018. May it hold great joy, success and happiness for you and those you care about.

My focus for 2018 is to MC a lot more events, host different conversations and facilitate some great discussions. If you know of events, showcases or conversations that need a professionals touch, please let me know as I would be glad to assist.

What is your focus? What are you aiming for? How will you know that 2018 has been a success for you?

Until next year, enjoy the festivities!

Read more →

 

Why Fight It?

During a recent conference I was hosting, I received a phone call from a speaker I am mentoring. They had won a gig for their largest ever audience (yay!) and now they were getting a bit of stage fright (oops) and their question was, “How do I get rid of it or deal with it?”

Stage fright or pre-show nerves are an interesting beast. You want some but not too much. Enough to keep you on your toes but not so much it is debilitating.

For me it is not the size of the audience that impacts stage fright, it is what you have to do. I have worked audiences over 2,000 and 3,000 people with little fear while hosting a conference or gala dinner. I am even comfortable if my jokes fall flat. But the audience of 28 people when I performed a one man show in the Melbourne Fringe festival nearly had me passing out! The tight confines of the script, the telling of other peoples stories, and being Gough Whitlam had me all in knots. I was not used to being so restricted.

So how do you get rid of your stage fright?

You don’t! It is a valuable part of you. Don’t fight it but embrace it. Acknowledge that it’s job is to keep you safe and that you will be super safe on the stage. Most people in the audience will be so pleased that they don’t have to give the presentation and they will be wanting you to be doing a great job.

I assume you know your stuff, or you wouldn’t be asked to present on it. So there is very little than could go wrong and a whole spectrum of things that could go right! Embracing the fear and reminding yourself of all the things that will be great about your performance will help keep your stage fright manageable.

You can’t get rid of stage fright and you wouldn’t want to. It is a powerful tool to motivate you to get your techniques, content and performance skills up to standard. Why would you want to get rid of that?

You will also find, the best way to manage your stage fright is to do more presentations. The more you do, the better you get at it and the less negative impact your stage fright will have on you.

So why fight it?

 

Read more →

 

Are You Serious?

A recent event I was hosting for the Queensland Department of Communities was their Community Recovery Forum.

It was a serious day talking about serious topics. Financial resilience, community impact, infrastructure, economic impact, and much more.

Personally, I spent most of the day laughing and making sure the audience did too!

In fact many of the delegates, when they spoke to me, would comment about how boring the event could have been if I wasn’t continuing to brighten it up. From the Rock Star welcome for the Director General to throwing the microphone cube around the audience, the day was loaded with fun things.

My personal experience is that when something is fun, my mind is more open to learning about what is happening and being open to new ideas. When things are too serious or monotonous, it takes all my effort just to stay awake and focussed on what is supposed to be happening.

There is no doubt about it, life is serious. We make serious decisions with serious impacts and serious conditions exist all around the world.

But being serious takes so much effort and is so draining!

Let’s face it, no one gets out of life alive.

So can I encourage you to take serious situations seriously but having a laugh at them or during them?

It doesn’t mean you don’t treat them with the respect they deserve but it does mean you focus on the positive and fun elements of what you are facing.

Emergency Service personnel typically have very dark sense of humour. Patients with critical diseases can most often find something to laugh about. Fortunately most of my days are far less serious, so surely I can have a laugh?

So what have you got happening today that feels a little serious and how can you have some fun with it?

By the way, if you have a conference or event that you need to have more fun at (all while taking it seriously) don’t hesitate to get in touch and we will see how I can help.

Read more →

 

What Defines You?

Image: ShutterStock

While going to the Physiotherapist (some same Physioterrorist) isn’t fun, the outcomes have been good. But a recent encounter with another client got me thinking.

The Physio has me doing hydrotherapy for my healing ankle. Usually there are two to five of us in the pool at once. As I was doing my weird stretches I said to one of the guys I had met before, “How are you doing?”

Now I was making polite conversation. I should have thought about the question I asked because he then took quite some time to tell me how he was doing. Yes, he is in an unpleasant situation and he has multiple injuries. Yes it has had an impact on his life and that of his family. But there has to be a good side somewhere doesn’t there?

Thinking about that interaction, I made the choice to not be defined by my injury.

The impact of my broken ankle is ever present in my life but I talk about it too much, give it credit too much, allow it to impact too much. The time has come for me to move on.

Sure, there will be a lasting impact but that is for me to manage. I don’t need to keep going on about it. I know there is a significant shift in mentality when I focus on what I CAN do rather than on what I CAN’T do.

Do you know people who are defined by what they think is holding them back?
By whatever event has occurred to them in their past that they can’t move past?
Are you one of those people?

Maybe it is time to focus on all the amazing things you can do, the experiences you can have, the relationships you can be part of.

Don’t be defined by events, thoughts and actions that are best left relegated to the past.

What defines you?

Read more →

 

Banish the Beige

Image: Dulux.com.au

I am terrified of Beige. Not the colour, as the colour above is the colour of most of my internal walls at home. I fear the Beige Life.

Beige seems to be gaining a grip on us. Here are a few reasons why:

  • The increasing number of people who seem to get offended on behalf of others
  • Political correctness 
  • Politicians trying not to upset potential voters
  • People not willing to take responsibility
  • Lack of courage in being willing to express beliefs
  • The decrease in skill on how to debate an argument
  • People attacking people and not the subject of the discussion
  • Close minded people who can’t see that just because they don’t agree, it can still a valid view point
  • FOWOT (A term I learned recently from Amanda Gore – Fear Of What Others Think)
  • Living a life of what other people think rather than what you want

I was reminded this week of the value of a colourful life, of staying true to your beliefs and values, of being open to new and different ideas, to calling out bullshit when you see it.

How are you adding colour to your life? How are you Banishing the Beige?

Read more →

 
1 2 3 4 5 6 … 20