Archive For: Relationships

It’s (not) Hard to Be Humble

With the rise of the celebrity culture (both in business and in popular culture) it seems some celebrities struggle to remain humble and in the process disengage with their followers.

In fact, you would think that many of them subscribe to beliefs presented in the Mac Davis song, It’s Hard to Be Humble.

I had an interaction with someone who knows it is NOT hard to be humble. Australian songstress (in both Opera and Pop/Alternate music) Kate Miller-Heidke showed me how it is done.

On Friday I sent a tweet about how I was doing some writing while listening to her music and she replied.

I did a bit of cyber stalking and saw that Kate (we’re friends now so I call her Kate) showed appreciation to several others that had mentioned her. I get how this could be an onerous task for huge celebrities with lots of fans writing to them. But it is amazing how a simple “Thank you” shows you are human. Shows that you appreciate those that support you and have helped you to get where you are.

So how is your humility level? Regardless of whether you are a super star or not, do you let your humanity show? Go on, it’s worth it.

It’s (not) hard to be humble!

The recurring theme in discussions with clients as they plan their year is saying NO.

In life, it is what you say NO to that will determine your success not what you say YES to.

As the old saying goes, “If you want something done, ask a busy person.” It is up to us to maintain our focus on what counts and what is important. We can only do this by saying NO to distractions, NO to worthy causes that don’t serve us, NO to procrastination, NO to events we don’t want to go to but are too nice to say so, NO to amazing business deals that will shift us off course and not give a decent return, NO to opportunities that stroke our ego but do not serve our purpose, NO to things our gut tells us not to do but our head says yes.

Often, saying YES is the easy way out. Standing in our power, in what we know is right for us as a person, a parent, a business owner, an employee, a community member and a family member can be hard. But it is this path that leads to success.

What you say NO to will determine your success, not what you say YES to.

One of the things business owners need to say No to is their customers. Not all of their customers but the ones that no longer serve them. The demanding ones that chew up all of your time but then don’t buy from you. The ones that take months to pay and always have an excuse. The ones that haggle on price every time they deal with you.

The best thing to do with this kind of customer is send them to your competition. You are better focussing on the customers that rave about you, that effortlessly refer you, that know your value and willingly pay your invoice on time. A key to doing this is to know your niche, know your target market, know your value and rarely stray from that zone.

Saying No to unsavoury customers means you free up space to service the quality customers in your niche, it saves the massive energy drain and it also increases your profitability.

What you say NO to will determine your success, not what you say YES to. So, who and what do you need to say NO to so you can increase your success?

A Sea of Humanity

I had an interesting wait last week.

I was coming back from a performance skills conference and as you can see from the picture above, bad weather cancelled all the flights leaving except for one.

Luckily I was able to get on that one flight. But with a packed airport, massive delays and a load of families with their plans sent askew, I was able to see humanity in action.

The airline staff were doing a great job but they had to put up with a lot. Some people insisting that they were important, some exclaiming that they would miss their important event, others chatting to their kids about what a great adventure it was, some getting excited that it meant another day on holiday and some with a zombified look on their face not knowing what to do.

The range of emotions and responses was amazing.

What would you have done? There is no right answer of course. I like to try and see the bigger picture and my part in it. No matter what, the weather was NOT the airline staff’s fault and they were the ones who could serve me best to get to where I want to go.

Ah the humanity!

Un-Australia Day

It’s Jan 26th, Australia day. The day many of us wave the flag, put lamb (or any other meat product) on the BBQ and drink a lot.

Unfortunately the Australian of the year this year is Rosie Batty. I wish to all that is powerful that she didn’t win. More specifically, that she did not have to go through the circumstances that put her in the position to win it. As a reminder, this is the woman whose estranged husband beat their son to death with a cricket bat while they were playing cricket at the nets.

The warnings to police, AVOs and “legal” solutions did little to assist her. She then started her campaign to inform us of why domestic violence is such a big issue in Australia and how it should not be tolerated. The statistics are scary. And it is not only women who are victims of domestic violence, men represent a greater proportion of victims than you may expect.

This is not the only, Un-Australian thing about Australia day. Our indigenous population commonly refer to today as “Invasion Day”. It is the day the White Man came – things pretty much went down hill for them from there. Our history of caring for aborigines is poor to say the least. In fact, it is not even referred to as “caring” but “treatment”.

The good thing is that as you get older your learn from your mistakes. Well, that’s the plan.

When should we talk about the “New Australians”? Is now a good time? For whatever reason, our government thinks boat people are bad and we should not take them in. We have spent billions of dollars NOT taking care of them and in fact, some commentators think it would be cheaper to settle them in Australia than keep them imprisoned in our “Processing Centres”.

It certainly is understandable that we don’t want certain types of people in our nation. People who have an evil intent or would not subscribe to the Australian way of life. Here is an example of the kind of person our government does NOT want in our country, Mr Homayon Hatami.

Mr Hatami is an asylum seeker on a bridging visa currently living in Geelong. His visa expires in April and he has been advised it will not be reviewed so he will need to leave the country.

Let me be up front and say that I do not know the details on his case and there may be more depth to his background. Here is what I do know:

Mr Hatami is a karate champion that the official selectors included in the team to represent Australia on several occasions (he could not represent us due to the conditions of his visa)
On 8th May 2013 Mr Hatami put his own life at risk to rescue a women who had jumped from a pier near Eastern Beach Geelong and then got into trouble.
For his action, Mr Hatami was awarded the Royal Humane Society of Australasia Silver Medal for bravery. With the authority of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth The Second, Queen of Australia, Mr Hatami was also awarded the Commendation for Brave Conduct by The Governor General His Excellency Sir Peter Cosgrove.

Not quite the spectre of evil our government should be sending back to wherever they came from. Certainly his actions have shown he is a fair and decent person. Some Australians have started a petition has been created to have Mr Hatami visa extended, if not granted asylum. So it seems he has made a positive impact here. You can read more and sign the petition here.

What kind of Australia do we want for the future?

What kind of actions do we want to be seen as being “Australian”?

So much is happening in our name that DOES NOT represent the great nation that we are and can be. Whether it is action taken by our government, our sports stars, our businesses or general members of the community. Let’s make every day Australia day and celebrate it by being compassionate, understanding, big picture thinkers, community focussed, generous and sharing what we have with those who need it.

Let’s face it, everyone deserves a snag from the barbie!

Let’s Do Better

I am tired of all the disrespect and lack of tolerance.

Whether it is road rage, bombing, messy divorces, frivolous legal suits or over entitled celebrities, it is NOT progressing our planet or our existence.

Let’s do better.

Once you have some perspective, you see how unimportant we are to the universe and how important we are to each other.

If you need some perspective, watch this short video from Carl Sagan, legendary astrophysicist.

Let’s do better.

It is really quite simple. Let’s follow the teachings of legendary, non-religious, independantly brilliant and uniquely naive teachings of the two prophets Bill and Ted.

They have two simple philosophies:

1) Be excellent to each other

2) Party on dudes

It would be easy to dismiss these as flippant, 80’s movie trivia, but I believe they encapsulate what we need to do.

Treat each other incredibly well and celebrate life’s achievements in the company of others.

Let’s do better

There is too much terrorism but WE are letting them have the power. Here is what I am doing to fight back.

I am concerned about the increasing racism I see on my internet feed from people who I thought knew better. The blaming of Muslims for terrorism as if they are the only religion who has had extremists tarnish their faith is wrong and easily proven so.

I have several Muslim friends and I have a great deal of respect for their religion. I have Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Sikh, Agnostic, Hippy, Wiccan, 12 Steppers and even apathetic friends. Most of them live their beliefs and don’t try and ram them down my throat. I respect their beliefs and their right to have them.

What I cannot tolerate is people forcing their ignorance on me or others.

Please refrain from blaming “Muslims” for terrorism. Here are some examples of Extremist Christian’s terrorism to prove my point.

Acts of Terrorism are typically performed by people who have a skewed perspective on the world and use a construct like religion to justify to themselves their course of action. Succumbing to the fear and hatred only proves them right. Individuals perform acts of terrorism, not religions.

I will be fighting terrorism by continuing to live my life as I would have without them. I will continue to learn about other beliefs to increase my understanding rather than jumping to conclusions. i will continue to tolerate things I don’t yet understand or have an appreciation of. I will continue to smile at strangers, give trust without grounding, expect the best of people, talk to people I interact with, include people in my life regardless of their faith, race or creed and laugh out loud at things I think are funny.

Would you care to join me?

Give Up on Your Resolutions Now

Sorry if that title comes off a little negative.

But let’s be frank, come April you will probably struggle to remember what your New Year’s Resolutions let alone be on the path to achieving them.

Previously I have referred to them as New Year’s Revolutions – because every year we like to give them a turn!

If you want proof of this hypothesis, look at any gym. For the first half of January you can hardly get access to a piece of the equipment. After that, it all goes back to normal and the regulars get back to what they do best.

Here is an easier approach. Select a “Focus” for the year. My business partner, Danielle Storey calls it a theme.

A Focus is a short statement or even a word that is your overarching focus for the year. I would even recommend put a post of it at your desk or somewhere you see it regularly. Then each day ask yourself the question, “How can I stay true to my focus today?”

My focus for 2015 is to Consolidate. I have just released my new book, I have some recent CD products, a couple of months ago I received my international accreditation and I have a new Executive Assistant on board so now I have to turn this solid base into increased business and increased success.

Let go of the New Year’s Resolution, pick a focus. What is your focus for 2015?

What a Nightmare

Winston the Wonder Dog

This is Winston.

He is our 15 month old toy poodle. Yes he is very cute. (I like to think he takes after me!)

This morning at 5:30am he was howling like a banshee.

I went to the laundry (where he sleeps) and picked him up. He was shaking. It seems that he had a nightmare and it really distressed him. I held him close, let him know everything was ok and he was safe.

Life is like that.

Sometimes things happen and your situation becomes a nightmare. It could be a work project, it may be a relationship, your health or even your business can become a nightmare. When this happens, it is important that you have someone to support you and let you know you are safe and everything is ok. Then you can start to address the problem and find a solution.

Who will you turn to and who can turn to you?

IT’S ALMOST HERE! The Get More Inspiration book is currently being printed. There is a very strong chance you can get yours before Christmas. Visit www.GetMoreInspiration.com to find out more about the book and how to order it.

It’s A Success

My apologies for the delay in this weeks motivator. You see, I didn’t work yesterday as I was busy celebrating seven magnificent years of marriage with my gorgeous wife.

Success comes in many forms and another year of happy marriage is a great success.

As I have always said, if you may celebrating success a habit, you will make success a habit. So I HAD to have the day off yesterday.

Let me keep this message short and sweet. When you look at successful people they have some key habits and perspectives on life. Success is not about who you are but about what you do.

If you want to learn this “Psychology of Success”, join me tonight or tomorrow afternoon for a complimentary webinar on the subject.

We will cover:

1. How to set yourself up for success

2. Why some people enjoy good fortune and others endure endless mis-fortune, and how to be the former

3. How to recognise and over-come procrastination

4. Why “good” is a barrier to “great”… and how to achieve greatness

5. How to overcome fear

6. How to deal with adversity, how to turn adversity to opportunity

7. Why so many fail to reach their potential and what to do about it

Click here now to find out more and register.

Ask not for whom the internet trolls
It trolls for thee

(apologies to Hemmingway)

Trolling is easy.

Look at any social media site and you will see examples of it. Wikipedia defines it as “a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people.”

Too often, a discussion that starts out as a healthy debate with valid concerns transitions into a “slinging match” with someone finally activating Godwin’s Law. (Godwin’s law being where someone accuses another of being Hitler or a Nazi)

Trolling is nothing new. It has been around on the internet since the 80s with discussion boards rife with it. New technologies equated to new forums for Trolling. Politicians seem to have been trolling for years.

The shifts in to a more self-centred society seem to be a breeding ground for more trolls and troll like behaviour. Even people we know, who seem so polite and rational have succumbed to trolling. Some may say that road rage is a form of trolling, so are we surrounded by trolls?

Truth be told, most of us have a relative (typically being an Uncle with drinking issues) who seem to troll our family events. It is even more likely that you have some kind of troll at your workplace. The worst case is when the troll is your boss.

So how do you catch a troll, or at the very least, minimise their impact. As with most things, it is easier to catch a troll when they are small and before they get momentum. Once they have been activated they are almost impossible to catch.

Here are some Troll Hunters Guidelines for you:

Never Ever Feed the Trolls

A troll’s power increases with their feeding. What feeds a troll is attention. They don’t care if it is good or bad, any kind of attention will do. Godwin’s law is usually activated when two or more trolls start a flinging match with each other. Trolls cannot hear rational argument or a different perspective. It is not worth even trying. You can prevent significant damage just by following this guideline.

Set Boundaries for the Trolls

If you need to have a conversation or you are about to communicate something you know may be a little contentious, set the rules. If you run a page, group, or site set the rules up front. Trolling escalates when the commentary becomes personal so set the rules that you welcome comments about the idea or concept but unsubstantiated comments about a person or entity will not be tolerated. You can say something about their behaviour or ideas but not about them. Ensure that you also state the consequence of that action. Whether the comment will be deleted or the user will be blocked, it is up to you.

Never Tolerate Trolls

Should troll like behaviour start, shut it down quickly. Whether it is a conversation with the person, a direct message or a preventative deletion of the comment, do what it takes to kill the troll behaviour before it even starts.

Yes, the internet and life would be better without the trolls. Unfortunately, they are here to stay. What these guidelines will do is help you minimise the impact of trolls in your life.

Happy hunting!

Do You Have What It Takes?

I believe that people love strong leaders. They want someone who is willing to take the hard road and give reasons why we should join.

Here is a short video sharing further thoughts on Do You Have What It Takes to Be A Leader.

Are You Up for the Challenge?

I had the great delight to host the Challenge to Lead Gala Dinner on Saturday. The guest speaker was Colonel Marcus Fielding, military strategist, author of Red Zone Baghdad and philanthropist.

It was interesting to hear his perspective on leadership. The difference in leadership style between nations, situations, genders and personalities. One of the comments that stuck with me is that Leaders are also the best Followers. They know that sometimes it is time to lead and other times you need to follow. While he mentioned many leadership theories, the underlying theme was that leadership is about trust. Trusting yourself, trusting those around you and trusting those that support you.

Trust takes courage – particularly in a time of war or a military presence. My experience is that Trust is built continuously. It is built in the social conversations, the pressure free interactions as well as when you and the team are operating under pressure.

Colonel Fielding said that one of reasons our Governor General Peter Cosgrove is seen to be a strong leader is that he is very skilled at small talk and will happily talk with anyone over a cup of coffee, glass of beer or drinking straight from the military canteen. To me, this is a natural trust building exercise and I suspect it is something that he does naturally.

Leadership (whether it is formal or informal) is a challenge. It is knowing what NOT to do as well as knowing what TO do. It is a blend of science and art. All the knowledge on leadership principles and the history of great leaders is a complete waste if you are not up to the challenge to act on that knowledge and act with an instinctive reflex.

So are you up for the Challenge?

What Do You Do?

Sometimes, you just have to do something. It may not be much, but it is something.

My friend Melina from M.A.D. Woman is having a crappy time at the moment – literally!

She runs the Making A Difference Foundation where they provide food and basic items to the needy all around Australia.

Recently they had to vacate their premises as it was to be demolished to build some new apartments. Melina spent some time trying to find a new place with enough storage for all of their donated items as well as office space for the team to work out of.

A week before they had to move, things got really crappy. The sewage pipes in the building burst over a weekend.

The raw sewage made a mess of the place. Tragically three large skips of items to be donated had to be thrown away as it was all contaminated with waste. Loads of their office supplies and materials had to be thrown.

I rang her to ask her what could I do to help and during this call Melina told me she was close to just shutting up shop, but that is not the kind of girl she is. To kick off the new phase of life for the foundation, she is running a trivia night to raise money to restart the foundation.

When asking “What can I do?” she replied that I could host and run the trivia night for them. So that is exactly what I am doing.

In asking what can YOU do, well you can buy a ticket to come along to the Collingwood town hall on Thursday 23rd October, you can make a donation of money or goods for those who need it or you can pass on the details of the trivia night to someone you know may be interested.

Much like when friends, colleagues or projects need some assistance you just need to do something. Often it is little things that we can do – but the little things can have a huge impact.

If you want to do something for Melina and M.A.D. check out their website here.

Who Is It About?

Too often people in business get this question wrong, particularly in the Exhibiting industry.

The answer is, it is NOT about you – it is ALL about them.

Let’s be incredibly honest, no one really cares about what you do. What they care about is what you can do for THEM. That great saying of “What’s In It For Me” is running through their subconscious as they talk with you.

So with what you do, who is it about?

Your signs and posters, are they about you or are they about them?
Your new processes, are they about making it easier for you or making it easier for them?
Are the images you use about you or is it about them?
Your exhibiting booth, is it all about you or about them?
When you network, do you talk about you or do your talk about them?
When you get home from work, do you go on about your day or do you ask about theirs?

Life is not about you. It is about them.

The funny thing is, if you make it about them, they will happily make it about you – so everyone gets what they need.

PS Someone who did a lot for others and who has always been a personal idol is Robin Williams. His passing affected me deeply so I wrote about it. You can read it here.

The King Is Dead, Long Live the King

By now you know Robin Williams is dead. It is hard not to know as it has dominated all forms of media for the last couple of days.

I don’t “do” celebrities. I have been fortunate enough to meet many of them and some I have the pleasure of calling my friends. But I don’t stalk them, idolise them, want to be them, care what they endorse or even get concerned about what happens to them. They are people. They have their lives and I have mine. To be honest, I have enough trouble trying to get my life right let alone worry about other peoples, let alone famous people I will never meet.

This was different for me.

His death kicked me in the guts, brought me to tears and broke something inside. It has taken me a few days to collect myself and I felt I needed to write something.

I don’t know Robin, I never met him and most importantly, I have no idea about who he truly is. I am not sure anyone did. Any of his media interviews descended into farce and laughter. Even the serious ones end up off the track and distracted from the internal entity that was Robin.

He was very public with his issues – from addiction to health and even finance, yet still we never knew him.

Zelda, his daughter, mentions that while there are many photos of Robin she has the memories of time spent with him. She and her family were probably some of the very few who actually knew him.

To me, he was the King of the Stage and I wanted to be like the persona I saw.

Over the years he has given me many gifts that I can never repay and for which I am eternally grateful.

He showed me it was OK to be me. In a time and location where I felt my humour and habits were “not normal” he showed me it was OK to be “out there”. It was OK to show off, laugh and be genuinely crazy. It was OK to not conform, to be different and to be loud and proud of that difference.

He showed me it was OK to be hairy. His bath scene during Moscow on the Hudson was one of the first times I had seen a truly hirsute man on screen. In his stand up he would often refer to his body hair. Under this clean cut suit of mine is a man who looks more like Koko the gorilla than Robin does. While society seems to think “Hair is Bad”, I am now certain, “Hair is Me.”

He showed me what I think is the ultimate in comedy. To riff off what is in front of you, to say what is on your mind without thinking, to make it up as you go, to take it to the end and then take it further – that it a talent that I prize highly. I like to think that in some of my moments I can almost reach it and it is magical when I do.

He showed me there is a time to be serious. Some of his work is downright chilling. One Hour Photo and Insomnia prove that he is not just a comedian but he is a true actor.

He showed me that things will not go your way, but you can still have fun. Whether in the guise of Patch Adams, Adrian Cronauer or simple as Robin Williams, fighting his own demons anything is laughable. Some of his stand up seemed like drowning his own tragedies in laughter.

He showed me perspective. By shifting your view to the stance of another, you can open your mind to something new. His rendition of Bruce Springsteen’s Fire as Elmer Fudd is 90 seconds of pure magic.

He showed me the power of laughter. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t laugh at Robin. Kids, adults and all in between, there was something magical about his approach to life and laughter.

Most importantly, he showed me that even though I have to grow older, I don’t have to grow up. So I am not going to!

Thank you Robin for the laughs but more importantly, thank you for truly guiding me into the person that I am today.

My marketing blurb says it and I truly feel it, I am part Robin Williams.

The King is dead. Long live the King. Your table is ready.

Image: I stole it of Facebook

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Archive For: Relationships

It’s (not) Hard to Be Humble

Say No to Success

A Sea of Humanity

Un-Australia Day

Let’s Do Better

Let’s Do Better

What's Happening to the World?

There is too much terrorism but WE are letting them have the power. Here is what I am doing to fight back.

Give Up on Your Resolutions Now

What a Nightmare!

What a Nightmare

It’s A Success

How to Catch an Internet Troll