Archive For: Relationships

Put Your Poo in the Post

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Bowel Cancer is the second deadliest cancer in Australia. Approximately 80 people a week die from it.

That is shitty to say the least!

June is Bowel Cancer Awareness month and Bowel Cancer Australia are doing great things to help for the early detection and treatment of bowel cancer.

The great news is that bowel cancer is one of the most treatable cancers if detected early. The even better news is that when you turn 50, the Australian Government sends you a free kit for Bowel Cancer Screening. In theory, it shouldn’t be an issue.

That’s where people come in!

One study shows that less than 46% of people returned the kit (less than 44% for men!) A more recent study has that down to just 41% (39% for men – what is it with us men!)

Here is my theory, the first kit arrives when you turn 50. No one likes to be reminded they are getting older. A female friend of mine had her kit arrive on her actual 50th birthday. She was annoyed so put the kit in the cupboard – out of sight, out of mind.

Also, people don’t like talking about poo. It is ok if you are travelling as you can go on endlessly about the different toilets, plumbing set ups and the gastro which meant you were not getting off the toilet for a few days. But people don’t want to talk about their own poo, whether they call it poo, poop, shit, faeces or doody.

So you know who is the best person to encourage the poo conversation? A five year old!

They will play with it, bathe with it, run with it, show it to you, take pictures of it … you name it, they will do it.

So let me be serious for a second, if you are older than 50 or know someone that it, can I encourage you to Put Your Poo in the Post?

Get a test kit from Bowel Cancer Australia, go to the toilet, channel your inner 5 year old, poke your poo with a stick, and then put your poo in the post. You could very well save your own life.

Dear reader, you are too important to those around you to postpone this because you are too embarrassed, too busy (it takes less time than it takes to make a coffee) or too scared to poke your poo with a stick. Check the video below for a bit more information.

At the very least you get to send your poo to someone. Haven’t you always wanted to Put Your Poo in the Post?

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Dance to My Tune

This is the background of the Salon at the Melbourne Recital Centre. I was fortunate enough to attend a performance by the Ensemble Gombert there this week.

Now I must confess, it is not the kind of performance I would usually attend but one of my fellow members of the Ice Haloes performs with them so I thought it would be a good opportunity to see what the sophisticated people do.

Oh my lawks a lordy! It was stunning. While the entire performance was in German, it didn’t matter. The harmonies and the emotion of the music jumped out and grabbed you. I had the translation of the piece but I just listened and enjoyed it without trying to work out what it meant at the time.

They performed two pieces. Hugo Distler’s Totentanz and Bach’s Jesu, meine Freude.

While the Bach was great, the Distler was a production of it’s own. It is a Motet, which Wikipedia defines as a mainly vocal musical composition, of highly diverse form and style, from the late medieval era to the present. 

They had kindly provided an English translation of the piece, which was about when Death comes to us all, how will we be seen. The first dialogue from Death was very powerful.

To the dance, line up for the dance:
emperor, bishop, burgher, farmer,
poor and rich, great and small,
come to me! Mourning will not help.
Lucky is the one who mindfully
did good things during his life,
thereby detaching himself from sin –
Today I say: Dance to my tune!

The motet showed how different people meet death. Life has shown us that no-one is spared death. Yet many live as if Death will never come.

I am so grateful to my friend Vic for introducing me to this piece. Listening to how Distler felt people would meet death reinforced that life is to be lived and to be lived well.

To try new experiences, treat all people well, to give what you can, to not be blinded by ambition or be arrogant with any authority we may hold. We will all Dance to Death’s Tune one day so let’s make today as good as possible for those around us. By doing so we will make life, and death, good for ourselves.

Yes, this piece is old. It is based on text written in the 17th and 19th centuries. But the message still holds true.

So dear reader, if I may be a bit dark and somber, before you need to Dance to Death’s Tune, how will you live so that you may die well?

PS You can listen to an unrelated but lovely piece by Ensemble Gombert here
PPS Vic is fourth from the left

 

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Celebrating 50

It has finally happened. I turned 50 last week.

I am a firm believer in celebrating success and that if you make celebrating success a habit, you will make success a habit. So naturally I celebrated.

We had a huge party at a fabulous venue (The Riversdale Golf Club who were just fantastic) and I had family and friends from across the spectrum of my life come and help celebrate.

It has often been said that it takes a village to raise a child, so I had my village come and celebrate with me. Naturally the chief of that village, my gorgeous wife, was a key driver behind the celebration but that is as it should be.

You dear reader are also part of that village. Your regular feedback, requests for information and sharing of your life successes continue to help shape me and my business.

So as a small gift for you, please enjoy the performance of the choir I belong to, Mood Swing. They were there and did a few songs, this being the finale.

I am half way to my Happy Healthy Hundred and I wanted to thank you for your company and support on my journey.

 

 

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Closing Ceremony Focus

You know you have stuffed up on an event when the national broadcast of the event tells you at the end of the event how bad you did.

No doubt Channel 7 Executives knew that they were going to cop some abuse for many of the issues of the closing ceremony so they allowed their commentators to explain how it wasn’t Channel 7’s fault and then really tell the organisers how wrong they got it. See the footage above for Johanna Griggs and Basil Zempalas explaining how disappointed they were.

While Johanna and Basil listed many issues that the organisers got wrong, there was one main thing. The big issue was the focus of the Closing Ceremony.

After days of events and competitions it felt like the closing ceremony was used to make a political statement when it should have been a celebration for the athletes. A celebration of so much hard work in getting to these games, let alone securing any medals.

Event Professionals know that successful events are not about the corporations that run them, they are all about the delegate. They are about the people who have turned up to connect with others, compete with others, celebrate with others. When you take the focus off the delegates, they have no reason to stay and as we saw at the closing ceremony, an event without an audience has no soul.

For your next event, granted it may not be the size of the Commonwealth Games, where will your focus be?

It may be as simple as a dinner party, a birthday party or an event for your work group. The principle still applies. Where is the focus?

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Time Is Money

It is commonly said that Time is Money. Well this month, I get to be $50!

I have strong memories of looking at statues of explorers like Burke and Wills and calculating that they died when they were 40 and 27 respectively. At the time I remember thinking, “wow, they weren’t that old.” Now I am definitely thinking they were very young!

Time changes things.

It is not just the passing of time that changes things, it is what you do with that time.

Even though I am turning 50 this month, I really don’t think I have started to mature yet. In talking with 70 year olds, they still feel 18 on the inside.

Time is money, and while it is good to save money, that is not what it is for. Money is to invest, to spend and to share. The same is to be said for time.

Time is to be invested in acquiring new skills. It is to be spent doing fun, foolish or even worthwhile things. It is to be shared with those who need it, who you love or simply who you want to.

My personal mantra is Happy Healthy Hundred, so this means that this month I am half way. I am ready to spend more time with people I love and doing things that I love.

If your time is money, how are you spending it? How are you investing it and how are you sharing it?

 

Image: Shutterstock

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Who’s a Good Boy?

I spent a bit of time over Easter installing some new redgum sleepers and creating a new garden bed in the front garden. (The plan is for a rosemary hedge so we have a little more privacy AND tasty goodness for when we cook lamb.)

Can I tell you how much physical work was involved? Plus, those sleepers are 3 metres long and very heavy to throw around, level out, concrete in and all the other fun stuff!

Here are a few more pics.

You know what I like the most about this kind of project? It is having my gorgeous wife admire the work done and show her appreciation. Basically, I am a big fluffy puppy wanting her to tell me what a good boy I am and what a good job I have done!

It is funny how one of the key things in the work place that gives great joy and reward to a person is Acknowledgement and Words of Praise, yet they are both incredibly rare. I have heard managers say, “I don’t need to tell them they do a good job, they get paid. That is enough. It is my responsibility to tell them when they have done a bad job, that’s when I give them feedback.”

Culturally when we give some one a compliment, they struggle to accept it.

Responses like “Don’t mention it”, “No worries”, “it’s all good”, “This old thing”, “I bought it at the op shop”, “it was nothing” are part of our every day vernacular.

Can I ask you to mention it?

Can I ask you to pay attention and praise those around you for doing what they would do anyway?

Can I ask you to acknowledge the effort of others?

Most people have a hidden sign saying, “Have I done a good job?”

It costs nothing but a small amount of time to give a compliment and acknowledge others and the payback is massive. Your team will feel closer, feel prouder and pay more attention to team goals.

So dear reader, in your life, who’s been a good boy or a good girl?

 

 

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A Message to Cricket Australia

Image: Shutterstock.com

For those of you that know me, you will know that sport has no place in my life.

But even for someone who is not interested in sport, you cannot hide from that fact that Australia recently got caught cheating in a test cricket match. As someone who is not interested, informed or in the slightest way affected by this, I feel that it puts me in the ideal place to give a message to Cricket Australia.

Dear Cricket Australia, YOU IDIOTS!

While this is quite clearly the fault of the individual who cheated, the captain who let him and the coaches who allowed this to happen, it has to be asked, what kind of culture do you have that allows this idea to be entertained, let alone acted upon?

The sport itself is synonymous with fair and professional behaviour. If something is off kilter, it is commonly said, “Well that’s just not cricket.” We aren’t talking about underarm bowling or aiming the ball at the body of the player, we are talking about sanding the cricket ball down in front of at least 10 TV cameras. How stupid do you have to be to do this in front of that many cameras and use fluro yellow paper to do it?

Is the pressure to win that great? Is your need for money that huge? Are your ratings dropping that much?

How long do you think it will take to recover from this? Our New Zealand friends STILL talk about bowling underarm.

I suspect someone will end up as a scape goat, the media will over analyse what happened to them growing up, it will be declared a one off, aberrant occurrence and it will get swept under the carpet.

OK

But you have to ask yourself, as an organisation, what signals have we sent that would in any shape, manner or form indicate that this would be ok? What can Cricket Australia do to ensure this doesn’t happen again?

If I was a sponsor of Cricket Australia or any of the independent players, I would seriously be considering my investments at this time. (Can I humbly suggest you consider investing in the arts?)

And you, dear reader, what about how you and your business operate? What is your culture like? No-one is perfect but it is important to remember that we reap what we sow.

 

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Do You Serve?

Image: ShutterStock

I was lucky enough to spend Sunday in beautiful Adelaide, one of Australia’s prettiest cities. The City of Churches as it’s known.

I must confess, it was a long day. Up at 5:30, off the airport, fly, get collected at the other end, drive to venue, setup the AV, run a five hour session, back to the airport, through security, straight to the plane, fly, airport, drive home, relaxing by 7:30pm. I did all this, gave away $500 worth of product, offered 15 hours of consulting/coaching services, and got paid $0, zero, zilch … nada.

Now I am not seeking praise or attention (ok… maybe a little attention) and I happily gave of myself and my products and services. This was done, not with the intent of commerce, but with the intent of service.

Currently I am the National President of Professional Speakers Australia. Over the years I have taken multiple roles within the organisation and will continue to do so into the future. The reason I serve is that it makes our association stronger, our industry more robust and it also creates great connections for me.

While I don’t approach a service position thinking “What can I get from this?” I have found that I will always get a return. For example, the workshop I ran on Sunday. Part of it was about creating a speaker “One Pager”. I had a vision for my one pager for some time but had procrastinated too much to actually do it. I couldn’t speak on the importance of having one with out actually having one, so running the workshop forced me to create my vision of a one pager, and I am very pleased with it.

Service pays in ways that you wouldn’t even dream of when you start to do it.

What about you?

In your industry, in your family, in your hobbies – do you serve?

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Australia Day

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Australia Day is a challenging day for me.

Growing up, it was a huge day of celebration. My favourite aunt has a birthday on that day (Happy birthday Glenda!) and it was the celebration of the birth of our country.

As time went on and I learnt more about the world I live in. I discovered it was not the day our national was born. It turns out that the Australian Aborigine is one of the oldest peoples on the globe so our nation was born far earlier. In fact, Australia Day was not a term used officially until 1935. Over more recent years, it has also been referred to as Invasion Day as for many of our indigenous peoples, it represents the day they were invaded.

For me, I am proudly and happily an Australian. But I feel conflict that our celebration is done on a day that causes others great pain. I am also embarrassed about some Australian’s who minimise that pain, ignore it or even worse, invalidate it.

I have no solutions but I do have hope.

The conflict continues to get coverage in all forms of media. So what that brings is discussion, conversation, education, awareness – and these have to be good things. Yes there are extreme opinions on both sides, and typically there always are, but through the discussion comes increased understanding.

In the work that I do in events, this conversation also happens around the Welcome to Country or Acknowledgement of Country.

I didn’t truly understand what they were and was concerned it could political correctness gone too far. So I sought out an Aboriginal Elder and had a frank and open conversation with them. It was most enlightening. Now I am an advocate for the Welcome or Acknowledgement of Country to be in each program I host.

While it seems like a small thing, it continues the conversation and increases awareness. It usually takes less time than the announcement about mobile phones but deepens what it means to be an Australian. If you run events, I implore you to have a genuine Welcome to Country or Acknowledgement of Country in your program.

While the discussion about Australia Day and the best day to celebrate it continues, I will continue to be grateful each and every day that I was blessed to live in this country and make each day Australia Day.

Better have a Tim Tam to celebrate!

PS Here is a fun advert for lamb that gives a fairly good summary of the last 250 years or so

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Beware Perceptions

For those of you who don’t know, this is Winston and this is me badly in need of a shave. Pretty much how I looked this morning. What you can’t see in this photo is that I am 190cm (6’3″ in the old scale) tall and large framed (also referred to as a Nutritional Overachiever or A Big Unit)

As is my wont, upon arising, I took the trusty Winston the Wonder Poodle for a walk, during which I gave one couple the fright of their life.

As I was coming around a bend I saw an older couple (who must have been mid sixties ) see Winston and I and then had their eyes open wide with fear. The man quickly turned around and strode off. Noticing the lead over the ladies shoulder, I guessed they must have had a dog walking behind them off lead.

Suddenly the woman looked down, saw Winston and then noticeably relaxed. She then called to her partner, “it’s just a puppy.”

“Puppy”, I thought. Winston is turning five this year. He is fully grown.

As I got closer to them and said hello, they said, “We saw you coming but didn’t see your dog. We thought you must have had a big dog.”

When their Maltese Princess (their words, not mine) came into view, Winston excitedly said hello and we moved on.

So obviously their perception was that as a scruffy larger fellow, I should have a larger, fiercer dog that could be a danger to Maltese dogs.

A couple of blocks later I passed a mature woman, who had your stereotypical grandmother look, walking her very large Irish Wolfhound.

Perceptions can do you such a disservice, yet we all have them. Stereotypes that enter into everyday thoughts. Sometimes they can negatively impact on us and other times they better prepare us for a situation. One of the best things you can do is become aware of your perceptions and challenge them.

Maybe they are true, maybe they are not or maybe the are partially true.

What perceptions can you challenge and what perceptions do you think people will have about you?

Maybe I need to shave and wear something more formal when taking Winston for a walk!

 

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Why Fight It?

During a recent conference I was hosting, I received a phone call from a speaker I am mentoring. They had won a gig for their largest ever audience (yay!) and now they were getting a bit of stage fright (oops) and their question was, “How do I get rid of it or deal with it?”

Stage fright or pre-show nerves are an interesting beast. You want some but not too much. Enough to keep you on your toes but not so much it is debilitating.

For me it is not the size of the audience that impacts stage fright, it is what you have to do. I have worked audiences over 2,000 and 3,000 people with little fear while hosting a conference or gala dinner. I am even comfortable if my jokes fall flat. But the audience of 28 people when I performed a one man show in the Melbourne Fringe festival nearly had me passing out! The tight confines of the script, the telling of other peoples stories, and being Gough Whitlam had me all in knots. I was not used to being so restricted.

So how do you get rid of your stage fright?

You don’t! It is a valuable part of you. Don’t fight it but embrace it. Acknowledge that it’s job is to keep you safe and that you will be super safe on the stage. Most people in the audience will be so pleased that they don’t have to give the presentation and they will be wanting you to be doing a great job.

I assume you know your stuff, or you wouldn’t be asked to present on it. So there is very little than could go wrong and a whole spectrum of things that could go right! Embracing the fear and reminding yourself of all the things that will be great about your performance will help keep your stage fright manageable.

You can’t get rid of stage fright and you wouldn’t want to. It is a powerful tool to motivate you to get your techniques, content and performance skills up to standard. Why would you want to get rid of that?

You will also find, the best way to manage your stage fright is to do more presentations. The more you do, the better you get at it and the less negative impact your stage fright will have on you.

So why fight it?

 

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Are You Serious?

A recent event I was hosting for the Queensland Department of Communities was their Community Recovery Forum.

It was a serious day talking about serious topics. Financial resilience, community impact, infrastructure, economic impact, and much more.

Personally, I spent most of the day laughing and making sure the audience did too!

In fact many of the delegates, when they spoke to me, would comment about how boring the event could have been if I wasn’t continuing to brighten it up. From the Rock Star welcome for the Director General to throwing the microphone cube around the audience, the day was loaded with fun things.

My personal experience is that when something is fun, my mind is more open to learning about what is happening and being open to new ideas. When things are too serious or monotonous, it takes all my effort just to stay awake and focussed on what is supposed to be happening.

There is no doubt about it, life is serious. We make serious decisions with serious impacts and serious conditions exist all around the world.

But being serious takes so much effort and is so draining!

Let’s face it, no one gets out of life alive.

So can I encourage you to take serious situations seriously but having a laugh at them or during them?

It doesn’t mean you don’t treat them with the respect they deserve but it does mean you focus on the positive and fun elements of what you are facing.

Emergency Service personnel typically have very dark sense of humour. Patients with critical diseases can most often find something to laugh about. Fortunately most of my days are far less serious, so surely I can have a laugh?

So what have you got happening today that feels a little serious and how can you have some fun with it?

By the way, if you have a conference or event that you need to have more fun at (all while taking it seriously) don’t hesitate to get in touch and we will see how I can help.

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Losing $290

We have remote roller doors on our garage. They are nine years old. After nine years, the remotes don’t work like they used to.

You can see one of them has a bit of melting going on! The others used to work as we turned the corner near our house and now they struggle to work parked out the front of the garage.

Yes we have tried new batteries. Yes we have swapped remotes. Yes we have Googled looking for answers.

It got to the point that I thought I would call the manufacturer and get a service call. They recommend an annual service call and I thought after nine years it wouldn’t hurt to have one.

Talking with the support team they told me that a call out fee was $150 and that remotes were $70 each and if the mother board was faulty you are looking at around $600. I figured a call out fee and a couple of remotes (approx $290) to get another nine years of smooth operation was a price I could pay.

The service was booked in, I changed plans to be available and I was all good to go on Wednesday sometime between 8am and 12noon with a phone call about 30 mins before the technician arrived.

At 12:15 having no contact, I called to find out what was going on as I had to leave the house in 5 minutes.

To this day, I still don’t know what happened. The person on the phone didn’t know what was happening and put me through to the service department. They didn’t know what was happening and said the technician must have had a problem. I rescheduled the appointment (and later cancelled it). During this call, no one said sorry. No one acknowledged I had a problem and they would fix it. I even said i was quite annoyed and disappointed and the person on the phone reinforced that they didn’t know what had happened to the technician.

I have since found a place on the internet (Brisbane) that can send me aftermarket remotes for $15. I received one today and it works from the corner like the old one used to. I am very happy. I have since ordered a couple more as I reckon I can spend up to $290 on remotes and still be ahead.

Customer service is all about acknowledging the emotional state of the customer. It may not be your responsibility, but if you don’t acknowledge it, you will get the blame for it anyway. If they had said, “Terribly sorry. I am not sure what has happened. We usually don’t operate like that. I can appreciate you took the morning off to be there. If you would like, I can put you on hold and find out how long the technician will be or I can reschedule the appointment. What would you prefer?”

But their perceived lack of caring has cost them at the very least $290 and possibly more. No matter how good your product is, if you don’t care about your customer it will show.

With Amazon about to enter Australia, this is more important than ever!

How do you acknowledge your customers emotions?

 

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What Defines You?

Image: ShutterStock

While going to the Physiotherapist (some same Physioterrorist) isn’t fun, the outcomes have been good. But a recent encounter with another client got me thinking.

The Physio has me doing hydrotherapy for my healing ankle. Usually there are two to five of us in the pool at once. As I was doing my weird stretches I said to one of the guys I had met before, “How are you doing?”

Now I was making polite conversation. I should have thought about the question I asked because he then took quite some time to tell me how he was doing. Yes, he is in an unpleasant situation and he has multiple injuries. Yes it has had an impact on his life and that of his family. But there has to be a good side somewhere doesn’t there?

Thinking about that interaction, I made the choice to not be defined by my injury.

The impact of my broken ankle is ever present in my life but I talk about it too much, give it credit too much, allow it to impact too much. The time has come for me to move on.

Sure, there will be a lasting impact but that is for me to manage. I don’t need to keep going on about it. I know there is a significant shift in mentality when I focus on what I CAN do rather than on what I CAN’T do.

Do you know people who are defined by what they think is holding them back?
By whatever event has occurred to them in their past that they can’t move past?
Are you one of those people?

Maybe it is time to focus on all the amazing things you can do, the experiences you can have, the relationships you can be part of.

Don’t be defined by events, thoughts and actions that are best left relegated to the past.

What defines you?

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What Are You Creating?

I spent a couple of days at The Shed last week doing a few things.

It is a beautiful place that helps me reset my brain when I am feeling frustrated.

Let’s face it, there is a lot to be frustrated about.

Politics, sexism, war, treatment of indigenous peoples, treatment of refugees, people who don’t return phone calls, internet trolls, people who get offended by everything, people who never get offended, traffic, public transport, bad service, business deals that fall through, prospects who are incredibly rude … the list goes on.

Victor Frankl famously wrote in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, that there is a gap between stimulus and response.

So no matter what happens to you, you get to choose how you will respond to the stimulus rather than simply reacting to it.

What this means is rather than looking at how the world is and what we have to deal with to exist in it, we can ask, “What sort of world do we WANT to live in” and make choices to create that world.

Sometimes others may not support our choices but we have no control over that. All we can do is have control over our own decisions. To be frank, sometimes those choices are hard and the cost may be high, but they are almost always worth it.

The choices we make create our future. What kind of future do you want? What choices do you need to make to have that future come in to being? What can you start on today to make that happen?

In essence, what are you creating?

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