Archive For: Relationships

It’s Not You. It’s How You Do It!

“How can I get them to do what I want?”
“Why won’t they listen?
“But I already told them!”

I have heard managers and team leaders (and parents) say this on many occasions. Also Presidents of Associations, chairs of committee and sales people just trying to get across the message. Often the message is a good one (even a great one) but you just can’t get the response, excitement or engagement you want.

Usually this means it is not the message, but how you choose to get it across.

Years ago when I worked at the now defunct EDS, on several different occasions I got my annual pay rise by being stopped in the hallway by my manager and having them hand me a post it note with the new amount and percentage increase written on it.

Yeeeeaaaah…. that’s not the best way to do it.

So often people send emails or texts rather than having a conversation with the person. Phil Collins famously broke up with his ex-wife by sending her a fax. People tell their boss they can’t come into work because they are sick using some kind of messaging app.

THE MODALITY COUNTS!

Face to Face, Video Call, Phone Call, Text Message, Email or via a third party. Whatever your modality, it makes a difference.

If you are not getting your message across, if you are not inspiring the troops, if you are not connecting with others, if the kids seem out of control, maybe you should consider your modality as well as your message?

It’s not you, it is how you do it that makes all the difference.

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How to Use Your Communication to Show You Care

“Thank you for flying our airline today. If you need a rental car, show your boarding pass for a discount. We hope you have a pleasant day and we look forward to seeing you again when next you fly.”

If you fly then you know this kind of announcement that they say shortly after you land. In this case, after my flight to Sydney on the weekend, it was said with the excitement of sloth playing chess.

With out thinking I said out loud (in what I thought was a soft voice), “obviously he doesn’t give a sh*t.” 10 people all around be burst out laughing.

We have all experienced this kind of communication. It could be your child saying how sorry they are (when you know they really aren’t), the person at the fast food place asking if you want fries with that just after you placed your order for fries, or the cold caller asking, “Do you have life insurance?”

Don’t get me wrong. it’ can be hard saying the same thing over and over (and over and over…) again like it is the first time. Or maybe you have had something in your life that has momentarily taken away your joy. Continually following a process or script in a way that makes it fresh can be a challenge.

But as displayed by my 10 new friends on that flight, WE KNOW WHEN YOU DON’T CARE!

So how can you show you care when saying the same thing over and over?

Here are a few ideas:

  • Use a number of slight variants of the same kind of text to keep it fresh for you
  • Add some unexpected descriptors to the statement
  • Smile
  • Remember that while it may be your 20th time today, it is your customers first time
  • Add some humour
  • Put some changing emphasis on different syllables

The whole process is showing your customer, team, or prospect that you care. If your communication does not have that underlying emotion you have just wasted an opportunity.

How do you show people you care when you communicate?

If you need further help with communication for you and your team, get in touch.

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What Will Your 2020 Be Made Of?

Here’s to a magical festive season. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Bhodi, Geeta Jayanti, Chrisnukkah or some other festive day, just know that I am wishing you the best.

2019 was an interesting year. So many good things happened. So many bizarre things happened. I achieved some of my goals, missed others and accomplished some things that were not even on my radar!!

So what does 2020 hold for you? What is it made of?

I created this poster for you. I wanted to share with you some of the things that will go into my 2020 and some of the things that could go into yours. Note that it is based on loads of love.

It feels to me like we need more love in the world. Love in the form of tolerance, respect, caring, generosity, hugs, hand holding, conversations, books, music, big picture thinking.

Governments and corporations don’t seem to care or love their people or customers anymore.

So my theme for 2020 is MORE LOVE. I invite you to join me in my quest to make the world a better place by loving more: when I can, where I can and how I can.

Here is to an amazing 2020 for you!

With Love

Warwick xxx

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The Transience of Life

These are some stunning Mr Lincoln roses from our garden.

They look stunning. They smell magnificent. We have three bushes out the window (two Mr Lincolns and one Camp David – they are very Presidential!) and when the window is open the breeze wafts the joyful aroma through.

In a couple of weeks these flowers will be dead.

During their short life they have brought emotion and meaning to others. We have loved and appreciated them. Maybe someone walked past and saw them and smiled because of the one they love. Maybe they walked past and missed someone who used to be in their life who loved roses. Often our impact can be deep and unknown to us.

Sometimes the blooms last for a long time and sometimes they go well before their time due to hungry possums, disease or a mistake while pruning.

Our lives are like that of these roses.

Sometimes we bring joy just by being there but to others we may bring discomfort, through no ill will of our own. Sometimes our lives are shorter than we want and others times our inner strength sustains us.

It is important to enjoy life while you have it. Enjoy the interactions that come your way. Learn to recognise the short term inconveniences for what they are – short term. Adjust to live with the long term inconveniences.

Like a rose, sometimes you have manure spread around you (physical or symbolic) but understand it will make you stronger and while it may stink, you will end up smelling like roses.

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How is Your Personal Expression?

This is our dog, Winston the Wonder Poodle.

He will often show his happiness, excitement and delight by running around in a crazy manner, often referred to as Zoomies. We call them Circle Work. It is a way he expresses himself with no concern of what others think.

Whether he runs circles through the lounge, kitchen and entry way or does massive circles around the paddock when we are up at the shed, or this simple circle work up and down the couch, he is not ashamed to show how he feels.

We can get so hooked up on the negativity or the expectations and “shoulds” of the world that we sometimes forget to express how we feel. Then, if we do get the urge to show how we feel, we worry about “what will other people think.”

Be like Winston.

Show the world how you are feeling through your words, actions and behaviours. There are so many fabulous things happening in our world that we can forget to enjoy them or show people how they make us feel. It’s time for that to change.

How do you express yourself?

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Beware the Power of Your Words

Mark Twain said that the difference between the nearly right word and the right word is the difference between lightning and lightning-bug.

As you see from the image text, the framing of your words (even though they may be correct) also makes a huge difference.

All you need to do is visit the social media channel of your choice and you will see words being misused, misunderstood and mistaken.

Words can raise a person up to the greatest heights and can bring them crashing down just as easily.

There is power in words. Use your power wisely. I implore you to use this power for good and not evil.

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Let’s Get Trending

At several recent conferences, we were able to get the event #Hashtag trending. Oh and it is DEFINITELY a WE and not ME. It is nigh impossible to do this on your own.

But several #Eventprofs and conference organisers have reached out to me to ask what we did to make that happen. For some smaller events, again it is a real challenge (I won’t say impossible but you can see if from there!) Even for large events, there are no guarantees!

But there are some key things you can do to lift the interest in your events. This increases the interest for people AT the events and those who are simply watching online.

Some people ask me, why would you even bother. “The conference is sold out – just enjoy it!” But here’s the thing, you, your company, your delegates, your sponsors and your partners have spent a lot of time, effort and money to make this event a huge success. Being able to share it, and increase traction on it makes that success last and even influences next years success.

It also builds a sense of achievement and re-enforces the sense of “made the right decision to be here” among your delegates. And to be honest, it does not take a great deal of extra effort to make it work for you.

So Wed 25th Sept at 8:30am Melbourne time, I will be running a quick power session on how to make your event trend. In 30 mins, learn the tips, tricks and techniques your event needs to become known. Even if you can’t join us, register and I will send you the recording.

To find out more and register, click here.

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How To Open Up And Reap The Rewards

Why does it feel like we are shutting down?

We seem to pay more attention to our phones than the people around us. Admit it, who do you connect with first thing in the morning? Is it your phone or your partner or your pet?

Countries are shutting down. The debacle that is Brexit, Trade wars between USA and the rest of the world, rising nationalism that seems to echo to the chant of “mine, mine, mine”, even today when I offered to contribute to a white paper being put together by a sister association, when they discovered I was from a different country, I was un-invited.

How did we get it so wrong?

At a time when we have less wars than ever before, more global trading than ever before, more immigration and global citizens than ever before, more global problems than ever before, why are we not connecting more?

It seems we have forgotten how to connect and maybe even play nicely with others.

On a recent power session I ran on How to Connect with People, some of the participants were amazed at the simplicity of how to connect. Basic things that they don’t do that they used to do.

To re-connect on a global level, why not connect more on a personal level. Look up from your phone, your desk, your immediate concerns and go and connect with others. Prospects, customers, colleagues, friends, family and also your pets.

You will be better for it!

If you want to get access to the How to Connect session, head here.

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How to Connect (and Mean It!)

With the rapid rise of digital, one of the skills that people seem to struggle with is how to connect with other people.

Whether it is meeting prospects, networking, making new friends, socialising or simply trying to connect with a salesperson and not feel like you have to be on guard, connecting with others is such an important skill.

Let’s face it, how many people do you know who will avoid a phone call? They will email, text, message and seem to spend half the day going back and forth rather than spend the 10 minutes on the phone with the person.

Truth be told, so many people have asked me about this lately that I am running a 30 minute power session on the 5 Keys to Connecting this Thursday. Click the link and register to join us or access the recording.

The first key is the easiest, use the persons name.

Image: Spotify

Of all the words in the world, the one word people love the most is their name. So why wouldn’t you use it? It is personal, so make sure you weave it into the conversation. Don’t worry if you forget it, just ask for it again!

If you want to know the other 5 keys, join us on Thursday. Head here for more info. Then you can connect and truly mean it.

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Engage by Being Bolder

Too often people play it safe and communicate using “corporate speak” or what others actually refer to as “bulls#!t bingo.”

If this is you, STOP IT!

We have retreated to the safety of the comfort zone. Too many leaders forgot how to lead and are merely managing and in the process, losing great people.

It is time to get real. This include being respectful in your language, but let go of the flowery things you “should say” as say what you need to in your own language.

Be Bolder. Stand up for yourself and let go of the fear of saying the wrong thing. If you say the wrong thing, apologise and learn from it. People will understand.

Don’t let the fear of saying the wrong thing stop you from saying anything.

So… now … what was that you were saying?

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Never Forget – You’re ON Before You’re On

One of the key issues faced by management today is that of Engagement. In a workforce that is increasingly disengaged, it is a critical aspect of the work life that needs to be managed into the future.

Add to that the ever-present mobile phone and technology, and it becomes an issue for families and friendships as well. ,

The 75 second video above is an example of one organisation that is getting it horribly wrong before they even start.

What little things can you do to increase the engagement of the people around you?

If you need some help get in touch and ask about the Express Engagement Coaching Program.

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Creating Cool Conferences that Count

QuickBooks Connect Main Stage

I was fortunate to be at QuickBooks Connect last week.

It is the annual conference that Intuit, the parent company of Quickbooks, held for all of its customers and user. Unlike many other conferences, there was no big sell, no doing things on the cheap, no”get ’em in and get ’em out” mind set. It was all about how do look at the needs of many of our customers and provide them with a great experience and real value for their business.

Some of the out of the box things they had were:

  • Live music in the expo
  • Free headshots (just making social media profiles like LinkedIn look a little more professional)
  • Conversation time with other suppliers like the Tax Office. payment providers and other software companies that “plugin” to QuickBooks.
  • There was even a whole day dedicated to bookkeepers, accountants and financial people so they could do a deep dive on some of the features and processes.

In addition to the entertaining plenary sessions, there were plenty of truly valuable break out sessions for the audience. Sessions that business owners NEED to know about.

Recruiting, social media, cash flow and plenty of other topics.

As a side note, one of the break out sessions on recruiting people that stay was run by Anneli Blundell. She also happens to be my guest on the latest episode of the Get More Success show. Have a listen!

Essentially this was a User Group Conference. In the past, they have been more common for larger, enterprise level software organisations. With every increasing numbers of small to medium business using core business software like QuickBooks, these kind of user conferences are on the rise.

Intuit’s QuickBooks Connect is an example of one done well.

How can you connect with your users/clients/customers and provide extra value to them and their business?

It doesn’t have to be a conference. It may be a virtual conference, a webinar, video, podcast, reference guide – there are many options.

Let me know if you need any help or ideas.

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Do You Fear the Dark Clouds?

No matter what is happening, no matter how gloomy to dark clouds appear, there is always a touch of brightness.

Whether it is business issues, personal problems or simply things not going the way you want them too, here is where to find, not just a touch, but a BURST of brightness.

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How To Become Your Own Robin Hood 🏹

I don’t mean start stealing from the rich! Robin Hood did something way more powerful than that.

I recently spent two weeks touring the UK. So how could I not visit Sherwood Forrest.

The visit had me thinking about Robin Hood. While redistributing the wealth was a great deed, his most powerful act was spreading the message that people did not have to live under a tyrant. Spreading his ideas, thoughts and helping others create a dream that was worth living for, gave something far more valuable than money.

While Robin Hood may be a fictional character [spoiler alert], you aren’t.

Do you have a message you need to spread?
How can you authentically and genuinely share your message to others?

For some it will be a simple conversation, coaching a team mate or sharing information. Others will want to take it further and share it from the stage.

If you are in Melbourne on Thursday 23rd, join me for a one day intensive on how to Get More Speaker Success.

Discover more info here http://GetMoreSpeakerSuccess.com

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How Important Are Words of Praise?

So much research has show that people join a company but leave a manager. Yet so many managers think that all their team wants is a regular pay check. These managers are wrong.

Most people I have spoken with tell me that they want to know that they are doing a good job. The only way they will know this is being told as much by their boss. Their colleagues can tell them but it doesn’t mean as much as when it comes from your boss or someone in authority.

This was reinforced with something I saw on twitter this week.

Recently a high school drama class put on a school production of Alien with a tiny budget. That is a pretty big call! Looking at some of the stills and video on Twitter, it does look pretty cool.

Well word got around. The twitterverse got excited. Sir Ridley Scott, the man whose company made the original films heard about it. Seeing the fabulous job they did on a miniscule budget, he wrote a letter of thanks with some encouragement built in.

How do you think the kids, the teachers and the school feel right about now?
How delighted must you be when the person you are paying homage to lets you know you did an amazing job?
How thrilled would your team, family, colleagues, friends be if you told them how much they mean to you and how much you appreciate what they do?

How important are words of praise?

They are the most valuable currency you have.

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